Times when my mind wanders off to neverland. Back to days eternal when the body strolled free. There were no deadlines to be met; no fellow students to beat in competition; no grades to make; no bills to pay. It was the easy path out of troubles. The experienced showed the way and i just walked. A hand held me tight on every path i tread. Every cry was soothed; every mistake was covered up; every dream was attained; Life was bliss alright.
Then times of condititional troubles began. There’d be those times when i would be left astray alone in the world, to defend for myself. Protect my favourite pink toffee from the enemies on my own. No more was my life at peace. Things had to be fought for.
Moved on to times, where there was an array of numbers to distinguish me from the rest of my kind. That girl who stayed 2 points ahead of me was always the loved one. I understood not this system of discrimination, for where we all not from the same roots? The tight comforting hold from the Gods loosened up. I had more trouble swimming those waters. But I learnt.
I won something I knew I dint deserve. A mortal had designed a means of determing my efficiency in sustenance and this so-called system of examination had passed me capable at it with flying colors(As the cliche goes!). They called me an Achiever, and pushed me one step higher.
At this stage, I knew I had done something a lot others of my very own kind hadnt. Had gotten into one of the best tutorings in the city; the few of my kind actually looked up to me. But the mind was lost. What was I doing here.? Was this where the mind wanted to be.? No. The answers were nowhere to be found. And I survived. A bug in a mass. Ran with the crowd, cawed when I heard my neighbour. And they called me an Achiever.
The next day I was into a place I would call my alma mater years down. A place I would go visiting with my offsprings and successors. They took me in coz I was supposed to be just the one for it. But what was I.? God You there..?
It was there that i tasted the sweet bliss in Freedom. I no longer needed the comforting hand to take me around. It hurt to depend. The world was hell and I wanted to survive on my own. Yes.! I needed no support. I could make my changes, call my shots, ride my own wave. I had tasted the life of free will.
Rock ruled. It brought out the liberal me. I could take anything you shouted at me with a composure you never knew of. Some called me a Rebel. Was I wrong to do things my way? Was I wrong to stand on my own and put my shoulder down when I felt the weight.? My head still nods a no. And thats what i did. Be myself.
At the end of this journey, when I look at myself today, I am tired. For I have lost a major part of me. The Free Me. The Real Me. The Me.!